“Song Yan, I’m afraid I’ll slip!” Hold me tight.
“Song Yan, I’m too tired to take another step.” Carry me!
“Song Yan, I’m cold.” Cuddle me!
“Song Yan, I’m feeling sad.” Humour me.
“Song Yan, that boy touched the back of my hand.” Go beat him to a pulp!
“Song Yan, I’ll never make it alone.” I need you by my side.
“Song Yan, take me with you.”
If you still love me, I’ll keep by your side.
“Xu Qin” his tone was serious as was the look in his eyes. This was a big decision.
“Yes?” She took a sharp intake of air and held her breath. She could sense the brevity of the moment.
“Do you still like me?” He was always so plainspoken.
Xu Qin could feel her heart racing.
She nodded “I do.”
He stared at her with a piercing gaze as if contemplating something.
“I take it back Xu Qin.”
She felt stifled, as though she could not breathe.
“Let’s be together again.” Song Yan enunciated every word deliberately. “I don’t need you to prove anything nor swear that you will love me forever. If one day you should decide to end it, then we will. But for now, let’s just be together.”
After ten long agonising years, I realise I only want you.
[Ebook][Audiobook][Drama][Eng Translation]
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A woman tormented by duty towards her adoptive parents and unquenchable feelings towards her old flame who became, quite appropriately, a firefighter. There is tension everytime they meet but she cannot abandon everything because she stands to lose too much. He tells her he loves her, yet why does he have nothing to show for it all these years?
[spoiler]
Her eyes mirrored her personality; sombre, cold, repressed. She was slowly driving herself insane.
Xiao Yi Xiao was irate as he tried to drag Xu Qin off “Let’s go. Why waste your breath on the likes of him? He’s not worth it.”
Song Yan stared him down before turning to Xu Qin with a frosty air.
Xu Qin struggled with Xiao Yi Xiao as she fought to remain standing. She looked right at Song Yan and spat out venomously “Yes. You are not worth it. You never were.”
Song Yan studied this woman before him and smirked, as if he was watching a scene that he had no part in. He turned abruptly and headed for his room.
Xu Qin felt her world collapsing around her.
“Because …” she mumbled softly in the cold still night at his rigid retreating back “I’ve always liked you more than you liked me.”
Song Yan could scarcely believe his ears.
“I’m not sociable. I don’t like meeting people. Finance, law, management, I’m not cut out for any of them. Only medicine. And I’ll always have job security, I can pay for my own upkeep.” Xu Qin’s tears threatened to burst its banks. Her drunk self wobbled unsteadily as her voice became ragged with emotions.
“I returned home. I changed my surname. I moved out. I’ve mapped out everything. I thought if I became independent, then maybe my parents wouldn’t mind so much, then they wouldn’t object or disown me. If I became a top-notch surgeon, maybe they’ll be so proud they’ll finally give in.”
Song Yan turned around incredulously and was struck with the sight of tears coursing down her pale cheeks.
Her eyes deepened with hatred.
“But what about you? What have you done? Song Yan, what have you done to prove your love for me? Yes I’m indecisive and I’m calculative. I can’t bring myself to leave you but I cannot draw near to you. I’m not confident because you have never sacrificed for me, for us.”
Song Yan felt as though he had been punched in the gut.
“Xu Qin, I …” his voice trailed off. What was there left to say?
Failure was an excuse and his wretchedness was his reality.
Should he tell her of his woeful past and pathetic attempts and beg her understanding?
Should he tell her that the ones who pushed him into such ruin were her parents?
He was not that despicable.
He held his tongue as she ventured hopelessly “I’m right aren’t I?”
He had so much to say but he had absolutely no right, not at this moment.
It was all the validation Xu Qin needed. “You don’t really like me do you? You never did, else you would have tried. You have never tried!”
“You only stand where you are and wait for me to come to you. Even if I stumble, you’ve never reached out to catch me.”
“I need to see your sacrifice before I come to you. If I lose everything and all you do is stand there, what’s to become of me? Why won’t you come to me?”
He tried to reach her hand but she grabbed his arm instead and started kicking and striking “Why won’t you come. I don’t see your love. Let me tell you, I will never go to you again!”
Xiao Yi Xiao could not withstand it any longer and yanked her away forcefully “Let’s go home!”
Seeing that she could not wrestle free this time, she started bawling even as she moved further away “Song Yan, why? If you don’t like me, why make all those promises and declarations of love? I believed them, I believed them!”
The courtyard reverberated with the distant heartwrenching cries of a disillusioned woman. [/spoiler]
Could someone explain to me the story ? ´Cause I don’t get it
In HS, song Yan was attracted to the new transfer student Xin Qi: she is an introvert with a painful family history; a foster child adopted by a chaebol family. Song Yam is an extrovert and charms her as do his aunt and uncle just by the simple warmth of their life. He wants to marry her, she wants to be with him but she cannot fight her controlling status dominated cold adoptive mother FU. She breaks it off with him in a cruel way but doesn’t want to, which makes her more depressed than before.
She studied medicine against her mother’s will but without fighting for it. Her brother is in love with her and possessive, equally status coni and unhappy but he expects nothing better.
After 10 years, Xi Qi returns and works in the ER where she meets Song Yan again. She does her best to try to be with him again but his hurt and anger outweigh his lingering affection.
His mother had abandon him and his father when he was young to pursue a more glamorous life and song’s father dies on the street in the cold when song was little. He is taken in by his aunt and uncle.
Even if they get back together, the resistance from their families will tear them apart. There may be an underlying problem as well of the Memg family ( Fu is the mother) having caused Song’s family’s decline and hardship,
I’ll leave it there as I haven’t finished the novel . It’s a tv drama now , to finish on 7/28/2023 but I’m not sure it will stick to the novel , though of course a happy ending where Xu stands up got herself and follows her passions would be wonderful. Very little laughter or lightness, quite a lot of propaganda , to be expected, in the film version.