Rice Pot:- <figure of speech> referring to someone who eats a lot of rice. The phrase has a negative connation as it imples a person who only eats and is incapable of doing anything else.
“Yo, Rice Pot next door. You ate so much of my rice, how are you going to repay me?”
“Money? I do not want money. I want you.”
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This is a sweet tale of a pretty, car sales woman and a young, genius associate professor.
Oh no, not another genius with high IQ and low EQ! And gorgeous, and rich, and a great cook who cooks all sorts of nice food for our female lead. Are you still interested in his tale?
Qiao Feng is a handsome, low-key professor who got molested by our female lead at their first meeting. Lan Shan mistook Qiao Feng for an inflatable doll at an adult exhibition and joked about removing his pants. Not one to take things lying down, he exacted his revenge on his “molesters” that very day but the incident triggered a series of misunderstandings between the two.
When Lan Shan found out that he is her new neighbor, she almost freaked out – until she smelt his cooking. Having studied and worked away from home for ten years, she was desperate for home-cooked food. With her high EQ and pretty face, she quickly mended fences with Qiao Feng and shamelessly invited herself for dinner everyday. From neighbors, they became friends… and the rest is history.
The pace of this story is not as fast, or the language as witty, as this author’s other books, but I still enjoyed the story immensely. At first, I thought Lan Shan would be a materialistic pretty-face, but she is really a very nice, hardworking girl eking out a living in Beijing. Her Weibo name and her motto is “I sell cars and not my body” (卖车不卖身) and it is gratifying to see how she manage to hold her own among her many admirers, especially the rich ones who lusted after her. Initially, Qiao Feng belittle her (and everybody else!) whose IQ is below 140, but he is very nice to her otherwise and turns out to be a devoted boyfriend and lover.
Aha! She thought he was an inflatable doll? What was he doing? Standing around stiffly and grinning like an idiot to be mistaken as a doll? Oh, please, Moonblossom! Won't you consider translating this novel so that I can laugh myself silly? :)
His blind date was late and he dozed off in the inflatable-dolls zone while waiting for her. Still, the misunderstanding was pretty incredible but I guess they have to meet somehow. I won't write anything until my fan-fic epilouge is done. I wish I could say I won't read another book until my fan-fic is done but that would be too cruel. : )
You mean He Zai is making an appearance soon?! That is great news! You must give Wang Yun and her lover boy Free-Floating Cloud lots of guest screen time. How many chapters will be in this fanfic?
Moonblossom, maybe if you have time, you could pity me and translate the first meeting when she thought he was an inflatable doll? It must have been quite hilarious. Who was the blind date? Did she eventually show up?
ok, I see what I can do, but the first few chapters, which includes the misunderstanding is pretty boring. Qiao Feng was on a blind date spree and his date was late so he found a corner to sit and doze off when Lan Shan and her friend came along and started fingering him. I ended up skipping sentences until about chapter 7 when the story started to pick up.
Here you go. I have translated the author's writing style as well, which is very much much my cup of tea *teehee!*
This is from Chapter 1 where Lan Shan (蓝衫) and her BFF Xiao You Cai (小油菜) were at the adult exhibition.
The exhibition comprises of several halls and the 2 ladies were at Hall D where there were many different sex toys on display. Gawking at some of the stuff, the 2 can’t help but be amazed at the lack of (lower) limits of human creativity. They could not recognize some of the things and sometimes, they could only figure out its usage after a vigorous round of brainstorming.
Then they reached inflatable dolls section.
Ok. This they recognize.
Lan Shan was surprised that besides inflatable dolls, there were also non-inflatable dolls. The non-inflatable dolls were generally more expensive than their inflatable cousins.
Ok, she learnt something new again.
There were also some dolls that looked really real. So real in fact, they could have passed off as real people.
Xiao You Cai pointed to a doll (in a sexy pose) at one corner and gushed indignantly; “Lan Shan, look! That doll cost RMB99,800! If someone has that kind of money to burn, why would that person need to buy this?”
Eh? This sounds logical too…
Lan Shan walked over to take a closer look at the doll’s boobs when another doll caught her attention.
The doll was sitting on a chair, dressed in white shirt and brown pants. Its hair was cut very short and framed it’s face neatly. Its eyelids were lowered, as if in thought.
This doll looked fantastically real. If not for its blank glaze, she would have thought this was a real person.
Come to think of it, there is no way aa real person could look so pretty.
Xiao You Cai has discovered the doll too and she shook Lan Shan’s shoulder vigorously. “It is a man doll! Aw, they actually make man dolls?”
Xiao You Cai dragged Lan Shan towards the doll and the doll looked even better up close.
Its skin colour was very fair - not the plasticky hue but contains a hint of natural beige. Its features were very detailed and even looked prettier up close. It has a high nose, arched brows and thick, dark lashes. Seated in the dark corner, its serenity was worthy of a masterpiece crafted stroke after meticulous stroke to achieve such perfection.
But not matter how good it looked, it was still a fake. Coming back to reality, Lan Shan fingered her chin and quietly admired the doll.
“Lan Shan, do you think this is a man?” Xiao You Cai was confused. Among all the beautiful dolls, why would there suddenly be a handsome man doll? Or is this meant for the female market? Hmm…
Lan Shan did not know which wire in her brain circuit was crossed. She reached out to finger the chin of the doll and gave a leer. “It looked so pretty, it must be a toy boy!”
Something flickered in the gaze of the “toy boy” but the 2 ladies were busy talking and missed the reaction. Curious over the doll’s sexuality, Xiao You Cai touched the front of its pants to see if she could feel anything. Because the shirt was let out instead of tucked in, it really was hard to tell if there is anything underneath with the doll seated down…
Lan Shan fingered the doll’s chin – the feel was pretty good – and she went on to stroke its face. “I say Xiao You Cai, technology is really advanced these days. Its face is even warm! Why not you buy one of these back and use it to party till dawn? How does that sound?”
Xiao You Cai was busy with her exploration. “Let me first confirm if it has a ‘handle’. It would not do to cart a female doll home!”
Lan Shan: “That’s easy. Why don’t you simply take off his pants and check?”
Truth be told, this thought had crossed Xiao You Cai’s mind but it was so embarrassing to undress a doll in public. Even if it is a doll, it should still have its pride. Nonetheless, she took a quick look around and confirmed that there were indeed no one around.
Actually, there were supposed to be some sales assistants. But they have all left to gawk at some starlet who arrived…
Xiao You Cai was feeling indignant over the lack of professionalism and seriously thought about pulling off the doll’s pants when she suddenly heard a male voice say “How could you do this?!” The voice seemed to come from nearby, like it came from the doll….
Xiao You Cai was very excited! “Lan Shan, look! The doll can even coo! Ha, ha, ha! It can actually make sounds!”
Lan Shan was so shocked she could not reply. Xiao You Cai only heard it “coo” but she saw the ‘doll’ moved! ‘It’ was trying to avoid her hand!
And the eyes! She could suddenly see the life in them. In fact, ‘its’ brows were furrowed and ‘it’ was looking at her with censure.
No matter how advance technology is, there is no way it can achieve such a high degree of reality.
What kind of a devil is this…
Said Xiao You Cai: “Lan Shan, I have decided. I shall let you have the honor of removing its pants!”
Lan Shan could only think of running away. But before she could gather her wits, she saw ‘it’, no, it should be ‘him’… stood up. Because of the sudden movement, the chair he was sitting on was pushed back and gave off a scratching sound.
His face was black like thunder and Xiao You Cai fell backwards on the floor in fright.
Helping her up, Lan Shan quickly gushed out an apology. “ We are sorry! We are sorry! We should not have interrupted you. Please… continue to shop around. Hee.hee…”
Finished she dragged Xiao You Cai away.
Haha! That was hilarious! Thanks for translating, Moonblossom. It's a bit far-fetched that she would mistake a live person for an inflatable doll once she sees him up close, but it's a novel and funny way of having the leads meet for the first time. :) So what does he do in retaliation later on that day? Why was she at an adult convention, anyway? And why was he meeting a blind date at such an odd location (adult convention)? Are there any other cute and funny moments between the two?
I'm not sure why they were all at the exhibition (other than it being a plot device) but i think the excuse is both parties wanted to check out the newest exhibition in their city.
Qian Feng's family is desperate for him to find a girlfriend (or risk him turning gay) so he started a blind dating at their request. But because he is so proud n ambiguous in his answers, all his blind dates - inc the girl he met that day - tend to write him off when they assume that he is not rich or ambitious. Funny thing was, he was actually using these blind dates to test the accuracy of a match-making programme he wrote, so he was more confused n unsatisfied when a girl agree to a second date since his program indicates that both are not suitable matches.
He lost track of Lan Shan n Xiao You Cai after they left, but he found them near the exit whacking each other with a fake sex toy made of foam. It wasn't ladylike and Qiao Feng used his handphone to hijack the giant TV screen to telecast their unladylike battle. Lan Shan n Xiao You Cai were very embarrassed to be caught on screen n both found themselves scrambling for cover once more that day.
Thanks Moonblossom for the translation!