Adventures of the Female Chef 厨娘囧事 – 苏素 Su Su (HE)

6 Responses

1. 

   decembi April 9, 2014 at 3:07 pm | Permalink

   Omg, so awesome you translated the synopsis. I LOVE this. Haha, I have read one other of Su Su’s c-novels as well. This c-novel makes a perfect Stephen Chow movie! It reminds me of those golden Hong Kong rom-coms! <3

   It's on my recommended list and on my "to wish" translation list!

2. 

   Moonblossom April 10, 2014 at 12:16 am | Permalink

   Ha.ha. The pacing of the book is a bit off but it does reassemble a Stephen Chow now that you mention it.
   I will post a translation of their first meeting later to give others a peek at the novel style. Can’t help it, I just LOVE the Eunuch’s reaction to her name.

3. 

   Moonblossom April 10, 2014 at 3:00 am | Permalink

   I have tanslated a small portion of one of their early encounters in chapter 1 to give a feel of the book. This is a short book with 7 chapters. When I re-read the chapter, I realised that this is actually the third meeting between Wu Niao and Chef Man Xi.

   Spoiler Inside

   SelectShow

   The first time they met, Man Xi found out that Wu Niao is a kind-hearted girl who would rescue a child from under the hooves of a runaway horse. The second time they met was at the Imperial Chef selection test where he tried to reject Wu Niao because he knew her child-like simplicity is not suitable for life in the palace. However, he did not manage to overrule the other judge at the competition. As for their third meeting… … … Early morning the next day, someone came to fetch Lin Wu Niao. As a royal chef, she is expected to stay in the palace at the chef quarters built next to the imperial kitchen. Majority of the royal chefs are men, and only illustrious families in culinary arts like the Lins would produce a female royal chef every once in a while. Female royal chefs do not usually helm the stove when they first enter the royal kitchen, but would learn from a master before they can work alone after two to three years. Due to the two to three years of training, female royal chefs would usually be over the marriageable age by the time they can work alone, and would usually be dispatch out of the palace, or stay on as a concubine to some royal prince. This year, there are only two female chefs – Lin Wu Niao, and another girl from Miao family. The carriage ferrying the chefs stopped outside the palace. All the chefs are required to report to a registration officer, before they are assigned rooms. “Name?” The registration officer on duty today is Zhou Gong Gong, who is also the Emperor’s favorite eunuch at the moment. He has always aspired to achieve a fairy’s grace, and would sway when he walked. When he talked, he also like to gesture with the lotus finger*. The heavy powder on his face emphasis the grooves on his face. He is passionate about his career choice, but if he was ever required to name something that he doesn’t like about his job, it would be that he can no longer grow his favorite moustache. “Hurry up, hurry up. What is your name!” Holding a brush full of ink, he uses his breathy voice to hasten his assistants. “Miao Fang Fei!” said the woman in front of Wu Niao. She is a distant relative of the Miao family. Standing tall and straight, her air is cool and arrogant, as if inspecting the world from a high point. When conversing, people would usually meet the other person’s eyes. Seeing her slanted glance, Zhou Gong Gong felt a hint of discrimination. To a fairy-like eunuch like him, nothing can be a bigger greater insult. He stuck out his lotus finger and huffed (still in his breathy voice): “You… you…What do you mean by looking at me like this?” Miao Fang Fei pursed her lips, and continued to stare coldly at him through her slanted eyes. From behind her, Wu Niao could see that Zhou Gong Gong face has turned from red to green, and is bordering on apoplectic fit. “Zhou Gong Gong, Fang Fei is crossed-eye since young. She tends to look at people from the side of her eyes but she means no disrespect.” Miao Man Xi who has been standing at the back, finally move forth upon seeing the tense situation. He is the Emperor’s most trusted chef. There was once where the Emperor praised him after a meal “Without Chef Miao, I would have been eating food without knowing how they taste, and have no joy in life!” Before Chef Miao entered the palace, His Majesty had a strange illness. All food tasted like candle wax, and even when he is nearly fainting from hunger, His Majesty could not swallow beyond a mouthful from the tableful of delicacies laid before him. This has led the Chief Imperial Chef and the Deputy Imperial Chef into a state of frenzy, worrying that that their heads will soon roll. The Chief Imperial Chef fell ill among all the stress and was replaced by Master Man Xi who created a miracle! From that day onwards, His Majesty has fallen in love with the food prepared by Master Man Xi. So one can say you can antagonize anyone in the palace except for Master Man Xi. His backing is so solid, even the current Empress would show him face. Zhou Gong Gong gave an embarrassed laugh and shot one last look of loathing at Miao Fang Fei. He replied in his yin-yang voice: “Even if she is not cross-eyed, your servant me could not help but lower my head with one word from Master Man Xi!” Miao Man Xi raised his hands in a gesture of respect, and lead Fang Fei off into the palace. Lin Wu Niao is next. “Name!” The pent-up frustration found his outlet in the next candidate. Zhou Gong Gong stared icily at Wu Niao. “Lin Wu Niao [No Bird**]!” she replied truthfully. Zhou Gong Gong could feel the flames of anger burning a hole through his chest, and bellowed: “Repeat. Your. Name.” “Lin Wu Niao!” she repeated, loud and clear. Zhou Gong Gong bit down hard on his hanky as tears gathered in his eyes. He is deeply wounded by the unusual name. He twisted his hanky into a knot and prepared to blow… “Zhou Gong Gong, is anything the matter?” It was Miao Man Xi who has turned back. Beneath his calm demeanor, Zhou Gong Gong could see that Miao Man Xi is getting impatient. He suppressed the hint of panic in his heart and waved his hand. “Next! What is your name?” *’lotus finger’ is a hand gesture where the thumb and middle finger gentle touch together, leaving the other fingers fanning out like a flower. **’Bird’ is a common reference to the male reproductive organ. ‘No Bird’ could also mean someone without the phallic organ.
4. 

   decembi April 10, 2014 at 6:10 am | Permalink

   HAHAHA. I love this. I love this. Thanks for your fantastic translation. I love this short novel.

   Oh, I didn’t know they met earlier!! Gasp. I need to re-read this novel too.

5. 

   Peanuts April 10, 2014 at 11:35 am | Permalink

   Thank you very much to Moonblossom for posting this book as well as doing a scene translation. Haha, I recommended this book to decembi yet I’ve not listened to it yet except the 1st episode of the radio drama. The radio drama is very cute & funny. I’ll download the audio book & start listening to it tomorrow.

   This novel feels like a slapstick comedy with a thin plot, as decembi puts it a Stephen Chow’s comedy. I guess there is not much character development but it’ll definitely not be draggy. Decembi, is the other book you read by Su Su called Red Flag something? I think I tried to read a chapter or 2 but gave up.

6. 

   decembi April 10, 2014 at 11:40 am | Permalink

   Hahaha, this story is really very funny. I liked it a lot.

   Oh the other novel is called 红旗不倒，彩旗飘飘，roughly translated as “The Red Flag Will Not Fall, The Colourful Flags Fly High”. Haha, I liked it too! It’s probably 3.5 stars. The female lead is the most shameless female lead in history, but I really liked the male lead who is also shameless too.