I Am Waiting for You in Memories (Been Here All Along) 我在回忆里等你 by 辛夷坞 Xin Yi Wu (OE)

He had a childhood in poverty, didn’t have the courage to love wildly; she has the most beautiful smile and didn’t feel the cruel reality. So him and her, have a sad happiness, only waiting to reunite at the end of memories. From the day he became her family’s adopted son, he only walks step by step, afraid of crossing the line, but, for her, he would hide from everyone, sneakily tasting the bits of sweetness the God of Love inadvertently scattered. Even if it is using poison to stop the thirst, he will endure it gladly. But in that sweetest moment of the past, he didn’t say “I love you”……When he and she are together, it was a lonely warmth, as if being mutually dependent on each other in this disappointing world, only have each other, irreplaceable. But at the moment when they loved each other most, she chose to leave, a departure of seven years. Time cannot flow back, so the most moving promise is not “I love you,” but rather “to be together.”

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27 Responses

  1. lidge
    lidge September 15, 2012 at 7:39 pm |

    This is a good story but very heavy psychologically. It explores various facets of love (friendship love, parent love, romantic love) and shows us that love is not possible without trust. It’s easy to think we love someone, but it’s only when we completely trust that person do we really love them.

    This story takes place mostly in the past, only the first few chapters and last chapter are in the present. I know some ppl like chancy have trouble with this method of story-telling. Also, this has the saddest ending of all Xin Yi Wu’s books (and that’s saying a lot since this is XYW!!) so pls be cautious if you want to begin this.

    Despite the sad events that keep unfolding leading to the ending, I agree with the main girl’s decision to leave. Whenever she needs support, understanding and compassion, everyone deserts her. The only person she can count on is her best friend (it’s Yuan Yuan’s husband from Lost Youth). There is nothing left for her to stay.

  2. lidge
    lidge September 15, 2012 at 7:56 pm |

    Yes, I said I wouldn’t read this but couldn’t help myself 🙂
    I have no self-control!! Marathoned everything in 1 day!! hehe

  3. skyblu629
    skyblu629 September 15, 2012 at 8:22 pm |

    Still at the beginning, but from the moment Yao Qi Yun shows up, you can feel the tension, and his lack of control. I’m still wondering how they get together since, Jue’s initial feelings couldn’t be worse.

  4. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 1:27 am |

    Hey lidge, I thought you said you are not gonna touch anything with sad ending? Wah, you love Xin Yi Wu’s novels so much just like me:) But too bad no audio book so even if I dare to listen to this, I also cannot:P

  5. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 1:33 am |

    Wow, such a brave girl to read this tear jeaker. Here is some Kleenex for you:( Pls write a short review once you finished as I might get to listen to this novel one fine day as I like her novels too much to miss any audio book:)

  6. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 1:48 am |

    Since I can’t listen to this story, Lidge pls spoil me:P The male lead is the adopted bro of the female lead? What did he do to make her leave? Yuan Yuan’s dr husband is not likeable in Lost Youth. Since he is so supportive of the female lead, why they don’t get together as his marriage to Yuan Yuan isn’t really based on love? Plus, Yuan Yuan died. Is he the 2nd male lead?

  7. lidge
    lidge September 16, 2012 at 2:22 am |

    Yes, I know I said i wouldn’t read any more of her books but waiting for updates on Let Me is such a torture~~

    For old time’s sake, I decided to re-read 原来你还在这里. After that, I thought I’d check out a few chaps of 晨昏. Next thing I knew, I finished it so decided to check out a few chaps of 我在回忆里等你. Guess what? Yep, also finished it in one day….hehe. Now I’m marathoning 山月不知心底事. Trying to wrap it up tonight if I can.

    Before, based on the reviews I’ve read, I got the impression that Xin Yi Wu likes sad endings or open endings. This is why I avoided her books!!! But after going on a Xin Yi Wu marathon the last several days, my opinion has changed and am now a huge fan. Although her stories are sad and angsty, the endings are optimistic. There’s still a bittersweet feeling with the end couples, but this reflects real life b/c in real life, we usually don’t get everything we want. The most we can do is hope for the best under the circumstances.

    Waiting For You has an open ending, though it’s clear the ending leans more towards sad rather happy. This is the only book where the main girl doesn’t end up with anyone, though the ending is acceptable to me given her strong personality.

  8. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 4:05 am |

    I thought you’ve been busy writing essays. Ha, turned out you are having a XYW marathon:P Oh sis Lucy, I am so jealous of you:P Seriously, I am comtemplating copy & paste the chapters on google to read to me:) If I do that, which book would you suggest I read? I am also a huge fan of Xin Yi Wu’s books. Don’t know why both of us are so into her books compared with the other scholars on this site, heehee. I feel like a book addict, lol.

    How is 晨昏? Compared it with 我在回忆里等你 & 山月不知心底事, which is better? This means there are Viet translations online for all her books except Let me Look? Weird since Let me Look is one of her best book. After you finsh 山月不知心底事, let me know which book you like best. Should I post all her books online to let you comment:P? I read from forum 山月不知心底事 is one of her best book but not many ppl dare to read it a 2nd time.

    I know the ending of this book. I want to know what the male lead did that make it a sad ending. Actually, committing one into your memory isn’t such a sad thing. I always feel more for incidents or people in my memory than in real life:(

  9. lidge
    lidge September 16, 2012 at 4:35 am |

    – Yes, the main guy is her adopted brother.
    – She’s involved in a huge scandal. She leaves b/c no one believes she’s innocent, including her friends (except for her best friend, YY’s dr husband), her parents and the main guy.
    – The main girl and YY’s dr husband have been best friends since forever. They do not like each other romantically so they don’t get together. He’s in love with someone else. And with this story, you’ll understand why he marries YY.

    This is the entire story.

    Spoiler Inside SelectShow
  10. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 5:07 am |

    Thank you very much for the comprehensive summary. A big kiss from peanuts, lol. I can understand why the female lead did what she did but I feel sorry for the male lead. Trust is really a very difficult action to undertake. Probably bcos I am a very cautious person, I can relate to the male character more.

    I busybody tried to search for Let me Look in Viet for you. Does this site have the full translations?

    http://www.wattpad.com/stories/search/Cho%2520anh%2520nh%25C3%25ACn%2520v%25E1%25BB%2581%2520em%2520

  11. lidge
    lidge September 16, 2012 at 5:22 am |

    Peanuts:
    How is 晨昏? Compared it with 我在回忆里等你 & 山月不知心底事, which is better? I read from forum 山月不知心底事 is one of her bestbook but not many ppl dare to read it a 2nd time.

    I’m about halfway done with 山月不知心底事. Not really angsty so far, just Ye Ling going crazy once in a while. The business stuff as Xiang Yuen rebuilds the company is boring so I just skim through it. Ye Yun is cute so I’m glad XY ends up with him (happy ending for me! yay~). Maybe things will speed up after XY marries Ye Qian Ze.

    If you’re going to copy/paste into Google, that’s going to take a long time. I think 山月不知心底事 is twice as long as Twilight/Waiting 4 You so you might want to take that into consideration. Waiting 4 You is very good, but it’s the only book of Xin Yi Wu with a sad ending. Personally, I find the ending sad but acceptable, like Eastern Palace. No, the main girl doesn’t die like Xiao Feng. I just mean that the main girl/main guy don’t end up together, but I can understand why after everything that’s happened, sort of like Eastern Palace. Twilight was an easy read for me, and I enjoyed it. Enough angst, enough humor, and a happy ending. The main guy also waits for several years, but things turn out well for the main couple in the epilogue.

  12. lidge
    lidge September 16, 2012 at 5:26 am |

    Peanuts:
    I busybody tried to search for Let me Look in Viet for you. Does this site have the full translations?

    http://www.wattpad.com/stories/search/Cho%2520anh%2520nh%25C3%25ACn%2520v%25E1%25BB%2581%2520em%2520

    Thanks so much, dear peanuts, but I never use this site. This site just copies/paste from the others. Hey, don’t worry about it, peanuts. It’s no big deal^^

    I’ve got to concentrate on my essays anyway. I just ran into a bit of trouble and needed something to take my mind off things for a bit. Hence the XYW marathon.

  13. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 11:59 am |

    I saw 300 plus pages so I tut they’ve the whole story. Thus, you can marathon & discuss with me:P Anyway, I am stopping at chapter 60 out of 75 chapters, waiting for u, haha….

    I just finished 微微一笑很倾城. I like it very much, even more than He Yi Sheng Zhao Mo:) The storyline is very refreshing especially the wuxia world in the onine game. It is a modern novel with a touch of ancient feel. Their 1st meeting is so cute. I felt the same way as her when I met a net friend, lol.

  14. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm |

    Why did XY marry QZ? From what I read in the forum, I don’t like him. Why YY didn’t fight for her, so weak? Huh, you sure got good ending? I read in forum some said good ending but some said sad ending so I am confused. Maybe the happy ending is in the epilogue.

    I will get google to read either 原来你还在这里 or Twilight. Don’t think I wanna read this novel after I read your summary as the ending is too sad & I don’t like the storyline as I met a creepy lecturer b4 so it is a bit too real for comfort:(

  15. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm |

    山月不知心底事 sound boring. I don’t like weak men. I like naughty boy in 原来你还在这里 more, lol. I finished 6 chapters in an hr. I think google read faster than the audio book. Plus, I am also reading google translated English so I can understand the story very well. Oh, so rowdy & juvenile, make me regret I went to an all girls high school:( Wahaha, the sanitary pad episode is so weird. I like Cheng Zheng as he is so cute. Su Yun Jin is too mute & boring for my liking. This book is very relaxed & light that make me wonder if XYW really wrote it. Anyway I am enjoying this book, hehe….

  16. lidge
    lidge September 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm |

    As the story progresses, CZ’s obsession with SYJ gives the book an oppressive, dark feel. His love for her is touching but at the same time, kind of psychotic and frightening. I think the time gap works well in this case b/c it allows both of them to mature and reassess their priorities/feelings. They appreciate each other more the second time around and thus, more acceptance of the other person’s personality.

    CZ’s best friend ends up marrying Wu Yue’s g/f JJ from Let Me. They divorce but in another book, it’s mentioned they remarry again….lol

  17. skyblu629
    skyblu629 September 17, 2012 at 12:13 am |

    I haven’t finished this yet, but I will admit to cheating after reading the book halfway. It is a little slow, so right before their camping trip, I decided to skip to the present. I probably missed a lot of details since I’m not up to their relationship yet. Wow, it was kind of depressing, especially her line right before she leaves for America.

    I can’t say that Yao Qi Yun didn’t deserve his ending, because he sort of did. In a way, he can continue living in memories and stop waiting. There are some mistakes you can’t undo, and his was one of them. I wished that seven years ago he did go back and meet her, maybe, then, they would be like in her dreams, happy.

    Now, I’m going back to fill in the blanks since I have renewed my determination to finish.

  18. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 17, 2012 at 12:36 am |

    Haha, you are not the only one. I also cheated in Lost Youth & Let me Look. I skipped the flashback bits in Let me Look. XYW’s books tend to be a bit too overly descriptive & slow so I feel impatient. I also want to go back to fill in the blanks on those 2 books but I kept on starting her new book, lol.

    Actually, she has got very good command of the language & understand human emotions very well. In her books, there is no ‘if’. Whatever decisions or actions you took, you’ve to live with the outcomes/consequences, good or bad. Just as in real life, we can’t turn back time so we just have to learn & live with our past mistakes. Sad but so true.

    I am using google to read 原来你还在这里. I’ve finished 25% of the book. So far, nothing heavy as I think this is her earlier book so less angsty & a bit immature. Nonetheless I am enjoying it:) Add oil, add oil, lets continue to enjoy her books exploring human emotions & life fragility.

  19. skyblu629
    skyblu629 September 17, 2012 at 12:46 am |

    Part of the reason I feel the book is slow is because it’s very natural. There isn’t any major conflicts in our life every day, and XYW’s books reflects that. In Mirage, it was also pretty slow when Chi Cheng and Xun Xun weren’t together. I kept wanting something to happen.

    Tan Shao Cheng’s character is pretty annoying, even from the beginning. From the beginning, you knew that she and Jue don’t get along, but after knowing what she will do, her introduction is not only petty, but manipulative. But Wu Jiang is giving me a nice and warm feeling, such an amazing friend.

  20. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 17, 2012 at 1:10 am |

    I like her novels so much because they feel so realistic & natural. She is so perspective in her observations & her lead characters are so flawed yet likeable. Even when the novel is slow, I still won’t give up & want to continue but will do some skipping around:) If you analyse what you’ve read or read a 2nd time, you’ll find a lot of subtle meanings or messages you missed on your eagerness to finish the books.

    Another highlight of her books is some of the characters you are fond of will make cameo appearances in her other books. Although the focus is not on them, it makes you sort of happy to get reacquainted with old friends:) You get to find out more on Wu Jiang in Lost Youth.

  21. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 17, 2012 at 1:11 am |

    The Wu Jiang you mentioned in this book is so different from the Wu Jiang I read in Lost Youth.

  22. skyblu629
    skyblu629 September 17, 2012 at 1:20 am |

    Peanuts:
    The Wu Jiang you mentioned in this book is so different from the Wu Jiang I read in Lost Youth.

    The Wu Jiang of Waiting for You is a pretty sweet guy so far. Always standing by Jue’s side, comforting her when she’s sad, trusts her, helps her run away from home. From what I caught at end, even though, he was shocked by the incident Qu Xiao Wan, he still wanted to marry her and he loved her. I think that if given time, he could have forgotten or at least not cared. I don’t know how many people would still accept her after something like that.

  23. Eugene
    Eugene April 15, 2013 at 11:33 pm |

    From the beginning until the end, I always feel sorry for Jue character and could not help disliking Yao Kei Yun. He loves her but lacks of trust in her. After all, Jue still decides to leave. All YKY can do is to wait for her in memories.

  24. Peanuts
    Peanuts April 16, 2013 at 12:08 am |

    Eugene:
    From the beginning until the end, I always feel sorry for Jue character and could not help disliking Yao Kei Yun. He loves her but lacks of trust in her. After all, Jue still decides to leave. All YKY can do is to wait for her in memories.

    Hi, are you a Xin Yi Wu’s fan:)? She wrote a one line ending for YKY in Eclipse Heart. If you want to know his ending but do not want to read that book, I think I posted the spoiler there.

  25. Eugene
    Eugene April 16, 2013 at 5:24 am |

    Peanuts: Hi, are you a Xin Yi Wu’s fan:)? She wrote a one line ending for YKY in Eclipse Heart. If you want to know his ending but do not want to read that book, I think I posted the spoiler there.

    I like XYW but more into Tong Hua and Tang Qi Gong Zi. I haven’t read Eclispe Heart yet. I only read 2 of XYW’s books, this one and You are Still Here. I’ll to check EH out.

  26. Peanuts
    Peanuts April 16, 2013 at 5:39 am |

    Eugene: I like XYW but more into Tong Hua and Tang Qi Gong Zi. I haven’t read Eclispe Heart yet. I only read 2 of XYW’s books, this one and You are Still Here. I’ll to check EH out.

    The first 2 books I read are Tong Hua’s DMY & YZG. But I cried too much so staying away from her book to rest my eyes, lol. Oh, nearly all of us love TQGZ, her dry humour, haha…We even have a blog which mostly fangirling her novels:P If you like XYW’s books, you must read Let Me Look at You, our fav book. Lidge is reading EH now but a word of warning. It is rather diff fr her normal style as this book is very very dark so proceed at your own risk:)

  27. yingniang
    yingniang December 20, 2019 at 5:07 pm |

    I love me a good heart-wrenching novel so be forewarned cause this is one of my favourites. It does have its flaws – story became a bit draggy in the middle and 80% of the plot dwelt in the past when I really wanted the leads to meet and wrangle it out in person and in the present. Yet, I can see why Xin Yi Wu crafted it this way; The ending is what it is and hence the heavily imbalanced proportion of time split between the then and now. Now the good parts – I find the characters well fleshed out and believably balanced in traits and flaws. The ultimate conflict is also well conceived and the subsequent fall out very reasonable. I usually get quite frustrated when the plot belabours the conflict and allows misconception to build but this time, I can see why everyone has a mutual agreement not to bring the past up. There’s some bewilderment as to why the lead is abandoned by all except one given her stellar past but to me, when integrity is called into question, the misgivings cast a pall on everything else. All it needs is a seed of doubt and a rather persuasive motive to poison relationships. I’ve translated a short excerpt of one of my favourite scenes and the third line from the bottom continues to haunt me.

    Spoiler Inside SelectShow

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